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Football News: Everton Rule Out Stones Sale To Desperate Buyers And Eto'o Becomes A Manager

Everton Rule Out Stones Sale To Desperate Buyers And Eto'o Becomes A Manager
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1. Stats are misleading
I keep seeing stats about number of touches a player makes, like that decides how well a player has performed. The latest one was that Eric Lichaj had a stormer for Nottingham Forest against Blackburn Rovers in the Championship on Monday night because he made 69 touches. Since when did that mean a player is playing well? Not that I am saying he did not play well, but just that the stats are meaningless. For instance, what kind of touches were they? Carroll made a few touches in the West Ham United box while defending, unfortunately those touches involved attempting a Cruyff turn in the box which led to a Watford goal being scored. All those heat maps and touch maps are basically useless, they just make for nice pretty pictures on the TV coverage.

2. Martinez fires off Stones warning
Everton manager Roberto Martinez has warned clubs off trying to sign star defender John Stones in the January transfer window. After a very public tug of war with Chelsea in the summer transfer window, Martinez has warned the struggling Londoners that they would be wasting their time in making a fresh bid for the England international centre back. With under fire Manchester United also sniffing around Stones, the Toffees will face a battle to keep hold of him in the long term.


3. Who on earth picks the Champions League team of the group stage? has announced their team of the group stages and it makes no sense to me. You have the world's most overrated player ever in Hulk of Zenit St Petersburg in it, Raheem Sterling, who failed to feature in every game for Manchester City and somehow the dodgy Kevin Trapp of Paris Saint-Germain, who has been incredibly errorprone this season, makes it too. Yet there is no sign of either Neymar nor Luis Suarez of Barcelona. Hard to believe Bayern Munich's Robert Lewandowski has not made it either!

4. Good luck to Diouf
Stoke City striker Mame Biram Diouf has been struggling to focus on his football recently, following the tragic death of his mother in a stampede as the annual Hajj pilgrimage in Saudi Arabia. The Senegalese has been given compassionate leave from the club, and allowed to take time to sort himself out. He now believes he is ready to get back to his best. I hope he can score some goals for her.


5. Is this really what transfer rumours have devolved to?
Almost every media outlet has been running with a piece about how David de Gea tried to convince Thiago Alcantara, then at Barcelona, to join him at Manchester United, but he picked Bayern Munich instead. Writing a message when signing a match ball is hardly persuasion. He was writing an autograph, not begging him to sign for United. Why has it made the news at all? Maybe they are running out of pointless Twitter quotes to use today?

6. Louisville want to join the MLS
United Soccer League side Louisville City have begun a push to move into Major League Soccer. The team are only a new franchise, having just completed their first season, but they are already looking to build a new soccer-specific stadium to allow them to become one of the MLS expansion teams.


7. Litex Lovech thrown out of the Bulgarian league
Levski Sofia were losing 1-0 to Litex on Saturday, when there was an altercation in the Litex box, which saw a second Litex player sent off for shoving Levski forward Miguel Bedoya. Levski were also awarded a penalty, but that was never taken as Litex manager Lupko Petrovich ordered his team off the field in protest. Levski were awarded a 3-0 win and Litex thrown out of the entire competition as punishment.
Video footage of the match is available on this page.

8. Samuel Eto'o takes charge at Antalyaspor
Former Cameroon striker Eto'o joined the Turkish club in June on a 3 year playing deal. Manager Yusuf Simsek's departure has given the former Barcelona, Chelsea and Inter Milan forward a chance to impress off the pitch as well. Eto'o will work with technical director Mehmet Ugurlu to manage the club on an interim basis while a permanent coach is found.


9. EA recognise Harry Arter
Not just a Bournemouth hero in the win over Manchester United, Harry Arter is now a FIFA 16 Hero, as his contribution was recognised by the gamemakers. A new feature for this year's iteration of the long running football video game, Hero cards are only given to player who make a special contribution. This week's FIFA 16 Team Of The Week included Harry Arter, with his FIFA Ultimate Team card given the special Hero rating.

10. As if things were not embarrassing enough for Eden
When your dad comes steaming into an argument to defend you, that is the moment you know that you have lost. The sheer embarrassment factor of a parental defence kills any hope of anyone taking you seriously. In this case, Eden Hazard's dad jumping in to defend his son over the hip 'injury', that he somehow sustained against Leicester City, is reminiscent of a scene in the Inbetweeners, when Will is being bullied on his work experience and his mum goes into the school. I feel like Mr Gilbert right now, as I also am struggling not to laugh at the big baby who needs his daddy to stick up for him! Sorry Eden, but you are looking more and more stupid by the day over this. From the moment you put on that pathetic hobble until now, you have done nothing but made a fool of yourself. Man up.

Written by Tris Burke December 17 2015 13:25:12